From: Vance Tang [[email protected]]
Sent: April 23, 2015 3:35 PM
To: Gonos, John
Cc: Collier, Esther; Lim, Esther
Subject: Sincere Letter of Gratitude
Dear Mr. Gonos, Mrs. Collier, and Mrs. Lim,
These past years, I honestly thought that I was "stupid." I did not understand why my teachers were so mean to me. My grade 9 french teacher made me cry in class. My dad was broke and put into jail. I did not have any friends that would look out for me, other than Carl. Many of my friends from Cummer Valley prioritized high school over me. Many of my parents' friends betrayed my parents and me, I was so paranoid who to trust. I had a stroke and brain surgery.
To be perfectly honest, I was suicidal. My mentality was, nobody really cared about me. My mom knew about this, but even she was so busy with my dad's court case that she couldn't sleep well and fell into a severe clinical depression herself. It was as if I left, nobody would notice I left. From failing classes because I was still unable to completely (100%) move my right side, having migraines all the time from lack of rest. I felt like a failure from asian stereotypes and being labeled as a failure by my high school teachers. I honestly felt like a burden for my parents, and wasting money for me to survive was meaningless. I acknowledge that my high school teachers just did not know about me that well, but this was my mentality when I was going through these hard times.
Over the past 6 years I was very unsure about everything, my teachers, how much they cared, who were my friends, how rough it was for my parents, if my romance was doing well, how well i was doing in school. I really just wanted to play games, the only place where I didn't need to think about my life. It wasn't until last year, 2014, that I realized it's not in the teachers job description to be nice to their students. I just thought I was stupid, and my teachers did not care about me in high school and University. Not once have I ever asked my mom to go into "Parent-Teacher Interviews" because I was afraid of what my teachers had to say about me. The way each one of you treated us as students, was definitely beyond your respective job description. I just wanted your current students to acknowledge that.
Never in my life have I ever realized what this quote mean't. "The people who are around you influence you." Each one of you did influence me. I imagined if middle school was a completely different way. Middle school could've been a much different experience, even if I came from another country. I was born here and just figured all these caring and passionate teachers were caring for our education.
Each one of you definitely influence me. It could've been a very different experience. I could've not done as much volunteering as I did in middle school. I probably wouldn't have done that well in class. You all individually changed me from what I could've been which is why I am thankful.
I am a very stubborn child. It took one grade 9 teacher, my dad's lawsuit to go crazy, my friends to forget about me, and my stroke to begin suicidal thoughts. Everyone has their own troubles, these were mine. It was Katherine Chen, Carl Zhao, my mom staying in Canada to watch over me, my grade 12 english teacher (which everyone thinks is a hard marker, strict and also taught for 20+ years in the Newtonbrook), my sister, quotes from Steve Jobs, Martin Luther King, Jack Layton, music and anime to reconsider my thoughts.
"You help nobody by giving up," because you honestly don't. I just wanted your current students to acknowledge that passionate and caring teachers are rare to come by. But even if you have hardships as long as you will try with a strong will, you can succeed high school/university and even graduate school. You, teachers from Lillian public school, even Mde Ionescu, Ms. Bushell, Mrs. Strauss, Mr. C, Mrs. Schneider, Mr. Antonowicsz, Mrs. Stacey and Mrs. Brown all supported me in their own unique way.
I sincerely thank all of you for the way you were 8 years ago until now, many of your previous students may seem like they do not appreciate it but I definitely do. When I had only negative thoughts all I can think of, was the great times I had when I was back in Cummer Valley and Lillian Public School. I hope your current students come back to show their appreciation. Whenever you want me to come back, even if I'm going through hardships in law school, I will still come down. I am more comfortable with what I had to experience, then I was while experiencing it. I don't exactly know how tiring being a teacher is but I sincerely appreciate it. "Only when one experiences it, can one understand the consequences of it." All of you will always be very special to me.
Sincerely,
Vance Tang |