从牟钟鸣案说开去：婚姻和谐要靠双方

笑一笑

这件事要吸取的教训是躲开一个思维,言行都异于常人的人,牟不能通过正常的方法解决矛盾.无论心理和思维都是变态的.

大部分家庭都有矛盾,大部分人都活的好好的.
轻风拂面 发表于 2012-10-15 15:31 http://bbs.51.ca/images/common/back.gif

赞成！

kanada

I do not want to put any comments on this case, whether it is HU's fault or it is MU's fault. The judge has given the answer already. Hope you do not relate this case to yourself also.

Just want to say we all have to learn something from this case because we are facing the same issue in our family, incuding you, I believe.

Hate or revenge are not going to solve the problem. They both only make things worse.

The truth is the truth. You will have to face it even it is cruel and painful.
ADAMAN 发表于 2012-10-15 12:48

说的太对，严重同意！

王大力

没有天生的杀人恶魔，
没有天生的笨蛋傻瓜，
没有天生的罪恶孽债，
没有天生的深仇大恨，
没有天生的狼妻虎妈.....
——夫妻有缘在一起，相煎别太急!!!!!

于可得

信上帝的都被杀了, 还提上帝干啥?   一个完美的人不可能发展到杀人这一部, 所以凶手在能力和性格上有缺陷.
中国用死刑杀掉凶手, 不仅是为了公正, 也为了人口进化. 努力进化, 扬长避短才是解决问题的正道.

Peter_Great

。。。唉， 性格决定命运， 一切皆有因果。。。

咱普通老百姓

把一切责任都推给杀人犯， 并不能给活着的人带来任何好处。 女人们如果不能从这个案例中得到任何教训， 还会有更多的女人被杀。

走到这一步总部能让男人承担100%的责任吧。 即使99%的错是男人的， 女人也有1%的责任， 而他是你选择的。

Creek2012

回复 5# ADAMAN

婚姻和谐要靠双方没错，但你从牟钟鸣案说开去的确不妥。胡的父母在痛失爱女后，表现出的愤怒也好仇恨也罢，作为正常人都是可以理解的，其他人有什么资格去指责他们两位老人家呢？
幸福的婚姻大致是相同的， 不行的婚姻却各有各的不幸。
所以家有儿女待嫁，待娶者，一定要告诫自己的儿女，从细微处观察对方，凡是过于自私，或有变态或家暴迹象的，一律剔除在外。

ADAMAN

问题在于双方，而不是一方。我和老婆，经常是我迁就、妥协和忍让，可是我是人啊，我也得有承受的能力，为什么我就得死（排不掉所受的气），所以痛苦啊，下被子宁可单身也不找她这样的
zjzca 发表于 2012-10-15 12:31 http://bbs.51.ca/images/common/back.gif

I can understand you very well, my friend.

I guess your wife is a kind of person with a very strong personality. She doesn't understand you and she doesn't want to listen.

However, if you read all the comments here, you will find you are not alone. Your wife is not the only person. She is not unique.

There are all kinds of people in this world. They think they are smart but they actually don't understand what  they are talking and they don't understand what you are talking. Very hard to communicate.

I am not blaming anybody here, including Hu's parents. Instead, I understand what they are suffering. That is why I don't want to see this same thing happens again.

Normally, we don't like talk to those who do not want to listen or have no capability of understanding what we are talking.

But I still want to recommend you keep talking to your wife. Women and men are different. Not just phasically. The minds are different. They think in different way. It is hard but worth trying. Don't give up.

Also remember, if you cannot reach an agreement with your wife, let it go. Don't argue with her. Most of the times, there is no right and wrong. Let her be right and you win the marriage.

Take care.

ishcp

绝对不支持杀人者，但是遇到这样的女人，简单点讲我也杀，当初选择老婆的时候就是个悲剧

我爱北京天安门

提高自己的解决问题，处理纠纷，和心理承受能力非常重要。
不然，一失足成千古恨的事情确实会发生。

宾顿中学校长被谋杀 职员学生同哀悼

宾顿市Beatty-Fleming Senior Public School校长被谋杀，师生于知道消息时大为震惊。学校仍然开放，但正常时间的课堂已被取消，大部份学生留待家中或是提早回家。52岁的校长Debra Allen于周六在其位于Georgetown的中明显被其丈夫枪杀，她的丈夫，65岁的Dave Allen亦于屋内自杀。

警方的特别调查单位（SIU）已接手进行调查。SIU指称，在有人听见枪声前，警方曾尝试与Dave Allen联络。到学校上课的学生均留在自己的班房中，在早上的时间与同学们分享自己的感受，以及准备图画和字句，放到学校大堂暂设的纪念桌上。
@ 2012-10-15 16:40

凤妮

问题在于双方，而不是一方。我和老婆，经常是我迁就、妥协和忍让，可是我是人啊，我也得有承受的能力，为什么我就得死（排不掉所受的气），所以痛苦啊，下被子宁可单身也不找她这样的
zjzca 发表于 2012-10-15 12:31

    好可怜，适当的忍让是应该的，但是如果你心里有那么大的委屈应该跟你太太交流一下。也许她根本没意识到，习惯成自然，根本没当它一回事。祝你好运