感激爸妈：他们从未给自己儿子丢过脸

Jstar · 发表于 2011-4-5 19:40:03

回复 22# loneshepherd
我根本就不是在评价JACK本人如何，我是觉得他的发言误导家长，会使更多的孩子们受委屈，所以要说几句。我认为不在于家长为孩子具体花了多少钱，而在于家长是不是尽力而为了。JACK的贴子似乎是在鼓励家长们对孩子越抠越好，生活条件越差越好。他自己受了苦，现在希望更多的孩子受苦。按照他的理论，等他老婆怀孕了，他们应该立刻搬到地下室去住，楼上招几家房客，否则将来他的孩子就当不上“精神富三代”了，那多可惜呀！

Jstar · 发表于 2011-4-5 19:46:40

本帖最后由 Jstar 于 2011-4-5 20:50 编辑

回复 19#
你还是用中文发言吧！你自己不觉得别扭，其他会英文的人觉得别扭。你的孩子以你为骄傲吗？最起码，我想你的孩子不会以以你的英文水平为骄傲。

家庭团队 · 发表于 2011-4-5 20:04:44

#19的电脑可能没有中文软件或不知怎样下载，所以用英文回复（猜测）。最重要的是大家都能发表具有建设性的评论。

731 · 发表于 2011-4-5 20:47:53

第一次回复，发人深省

zhen2005 · 发表于 2011-4-5 21:36:41

回复 18# Jstar

I don't like talking too much either, but I have to point out some differents opinion against you.
1.  This article never mentioned that parents should mistreat their children.  Definitely,  I  believe all kids get the necessary life support from their family even their parents are new immigrant who struggle for life.  What this article want to tell kids is they should not feel shame if their parents are poor or could not give them every thing they want.
2. I don't know how successful you are.  I didn't feel the author is coming this forum来找感觉的, but I do feel you are here 来找感觉的.  I also believe the suggestions at the end of this article is quite useful to some parents who do what they could for their kids but can't get their respect.  It is also help those parents to educate their children to ensure their have healthy personality. It is OK for author to be proud for his achievement since we should always applaud for every success in our life.
3.  If you really familiar with Chinese soccer team and read all the detail report about them, you should know their failures have nothing to do with congenital, the only one reason is they are spoiled and lazy.  They have highest salary but least training.  If they work as hard as other athletes.  I believe they will succeed. Same as all those Chinese in Canada either they are first or second generation immigrants or international students.  I saw so much successful story happend around me including myself.  Nothing to show off just want to give some confidences to people who are struggling. I had worked in the lowest position in one of largest company in canada 5 years ago when I just  be here, a little better than cleaner, but unfortunately, cleaner is not employee of my company.  I never lose my faith and do excellent job even it is half labour.  After my English graduately improved, I got 3 promotions in 4 years and work in my profession field also  involve in the executive. When you boss look at you, they don't care 你是在地下室长大的, or 是听歌剧、看芭蕾、旅游度假长大的.  What they care is whether you are hard working, good interpersonal skill, professional competency....... I agree that the higher position you are, the more competitive it would be.  The major barrier and challege for immigrant is English.  So do whatever you could to improve it.  Keep in mind the culture differents.  Chinese be educated too modest.  If you work in the western company don't be afraid to express your opinion.
In a word, this is a good article and I believe the author could have an excellent future.

discuz · 发表于 2011-4-5 22:18:37

proud of you young man, I really do.

okokoko9 · 发表于 2011-4-5 22:23:14

孩子最无辜，父母错误的选择，错误的做法都给孩子带来苦难。最奇妙的是，很多父母竟然还不知道这点，什么都往孩子身上怪，不承认自己的失败。

discuz · 发表于 2011-4-5 22:23:56

回复 17# dick10

why you so sneaky? why you so care about who wrote that article? be positive man, he's really a good author gives parents hopes.

discuz · 发表于 2011-4-5 22:53:37

回复 35# zhen2005

I like what you said and agree most part of your points, and also, as you said, most of chinese doesnt speak decent english as of english is the most important tool here in canada for LIFE, glad you are having it. however, something i not really agree with you is that the growing pain will always a life long pain, your background and living environment does make different inside of you compare with others how has different life style from childhood. be positive and commit that as a nagative.

Chinese who wants to live as what they like - china or be your own boss. no other choice.

my2cents

Jstar · 发表于 2011-4-5 23:48:03

回复 35# zhen2005
你说我是来找感觉的, 我可一句没提过我的年收入\我开什么车\住什么房. 我只是想为可怜的孩子们说几句公道话. 倒是你, 使劲提自己, 和那个JACK一模一样, "After my English graduately improved, I got 3 promotions in 4 years and work in my profession field also involve in the executive. " 什么叫"involve in the executive"? 你是executive, 是就说是,不是就不是, involve个什么劲?

zhen2005 · 发表于 2011-4-6 00:57:28

回复 40# Jstar

我们在80年代来的留学生，两口皮箱，几百美元，无父母跟包，更没移民身份，还要交外国学生学费。我们当中的大多数人，最后都拿了学位，找到了专业对口的工作。我们这些人吃的苦比你多多了。

根据我在加拿大各大、小高科技公司近20年的工作经验

???????

我只是想为可怜的孩子们说几句公道话. ???? I don't think there are any pathetic children need you to stand up for them. Take care yourself and your kids and good luck for them.

zhen2005 · 发表于 2011-4-6 01:04:29

回复 40# Jstar

在公司里爬金字塔的过程中，你的经历将使你大多数时候处于劣势，越往上越是如此，你才刚上班，还没开始爬楼梯呢，所以现在你还感受不到。

So, you feel it!!! And lost? But that doesn't mean others will like you.

For you information, involve means I am not executive director but I am a member of executive team. Understand now?

zhen2005 · 发表于 2011-4-6 01:11:42

回复 31# Jstar

I do feel sorry for you. Although you do received education in Western, you mind is as narrow as some uneducated Chinese parents who believe giving material is the best and only way to show their love to their children. Do you understand why some US millionaires ask their children do household to get allowance?

Jstar · 发表于 2011-4-6 02:20:37

回复 35# zhen2005

1。正规的北美大公司, 在员工加入公司周年纪念的日子左右, 经理都要给员工做评定, 如果达到了良（B），就会得到工资的晋升，直到这个员工的工资达到了这个职位的封顶水平。然后就只有周年评定，不再涨工资了，直到这个员工担任更重要的职位，比如team lead, 就又可以往更高的工资级别上迈步了。你四年只得了三次promotion，是你所在的公司不正规，还是你有一年表现不好，没被涨工资？
2。当你的上级把你当成一个好劳力来对待的时候，他/她只注重你是否努力工作，业务水平是否合格，其他的不用考虑。当公司要培养明日之星的话，那么你的教养、修养、风度、人格魅力等，就都要被考虑且占很大比例了。你的职业生涯也和JACK一样，刚刚开始，所以你还感受不到。

zhen2005 · 发表于 2011-4-6 02:29:11

回复 39# webnomadness

You are right. The pain in one's earlier life could last during whole life and have very negative effect to a person's personality and future success. For example, a kid lives under poor living condition may feel they are inferior compare to their peer, thus develop low self-esteem, lack of confident even suffer from depression and some antisocial behaviou. That is why I love this article because it show us a great ample that your children could be grow up healthy, happy, confident and successful even under tough living condition. The children will also respect their parent regardless their financial issue and job position. The most important thing is communication, making your children understand you and also try to understand they. May be you can't give your kids luxurious life, but I believe every parenets can do this and it is more beneficial for your kids in the future.

Immigrant is extremely tough. As runing marathon, we just start but others already in the midway or close to the terminal, not to mention deficiency we have such as language barrier and culture gap. I don't know how much effort we should put in to catch up those people who born or received education here, and how much reward we can get. But I believe we all had a reason when we decided to give up everything we had in China and move to here. I know many people come back China in the past several years, some of them get wonderful life back in China and some of them can't find their place in China and come back here again. I miss my friends and family in China, but I know I will never come back and live there. As those who don't want come back to China and can not be a boss, the only one thing I can do now is try my best be part of this society.