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回复 121# Jackofall
Just one multiple question, when did you decide to bring you parents be in Canada.
1. I am settledown and have fair income. I can afford to hire a hourly labour support my parents for household if needed. My parents have health problem and can't take care of themself in China. I gave my parents enough allowance. I introduce my parents to some Chinese elderly entertainment centres. I coud accompany with my parents travel around in weekend and holiday.
2. I am very busy, My wife is going to have a baby. My wife and I have full time job or study, thus can't take care of my kids. My parents are very health, not only they can take care of them in China but also they could take care of others in Canada. My parents can only walk around the neighbourhood since they be in Canada. My wife and I are too busy to bring them go somewhere although they have been here several years.
If you answer is "1" I admire you and will try to be a person like you.
If you answer is "2" You know what it is.
For the question you asked, I really don't know how to answer, it should be very painful, but I also want to ask you the same question: what would you do if one day your parents sick or paralyse in Canada? Would you or your wife quit job to take care of them? If you can only put them at home by themself , it is not better than hire someone take care of them. One very interesting thing I found is there are lots of health chinese senior live in their kids house. I hadn't see one chinese immigrant family have a sick elderly that need to take care. Looks like those parents disappera when their health deteriorate.
The main point in our discussion is whether is for senior's good to bring them to Canada or just for the kid's good. Yes, my grandparents had taken care of me sometime and I don't think it is bad. They take care of me in their commuity, they have their lives and networking there, they feel belong there. besides taking care of me, they still have chance to enjoy all kinds of activity they deserve. I just make their more happy. Same situation in your ex-landlord, they have their house and their kids just visit every weekend. I believe they enjoy their own life in the other days. Those situations totally different from the situation that some Chinese elderly stay at home everyday, do nothing else but household and baby sitter. I never say it is wrong to have your parents help you sometime, it is good to have a family together.
天伦之乐,舔犊之情,儿孙满堂, they are all good words, but all those shouldn't base on the sacrification of elderly. |
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