妈妈，加拿大真的让我们越来越生分了？

Paul Pan

有妈在身边是很幸福！
代沟使然。代沟是无法逾越的，除非一方让步。
我有体会，譬如我与妈妈、我与孩子。一般都是我让步，上让老、下让小。

Paul Pan

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
有妈在身边是很幸福！
代沟使然。代沟是无法逾越的，除非一方让步。
我有体会，譬如我与妈妈、我与孩子。一般都是我让步，上让老、下让小。
不同意因为老娘没钱的观点，有钱也没用，我老娘就是例子。她要的是节俭。

Paul Pan

你太年轻 懂个屁

雪域孤狼

呵呵，17楼的，话说的太绝对了吧！！！！！


如果按你这么说，只能说明你连屁也不懂！！！！！


以后说话不尊重别人，也要尊重点你自己！！！！！

飞跃太平洋

我妈跟文章作者的妈妈基本上一样，但是我却从来没有象作者那样不能承受，在我看来，老年人的习惯肯定不会得到年轻人的喜欢或者接受，但是我们绝对应该容忍！记住“容忍”这个词，这不是要你去强迫自己接受，而是要你去用心体会老人的内心深处的情感！你就会从心底开始理解他们，包容他们！同时你们自己的心态要调整好，不要对母亲的那些习惯表现得过于激动和反抗，如果她做了很不卫生的事情，例如把捡来的东西给孩子吹，这确实十分不卫生！但是你们不要那么反应强烈，慢慢地说。如果她实在老习惯不改，那么你们可以采用平静和缓和的方式阻止她，但是绝对不能对她吼叫和训斥！牢记这一条！！！你们处理妈妈捡来的那些垃圾电器的方式很好，但是需要有持之以恒的准备和心态。

被封

There is nothing wrong with her mom. it is unfair and impossible to expect your mom to change her attitude to satisfy you. As her daughter and you are young, you should take it easy and make your mom happy. You don’t have to change your self, just take it easy. Otherwise you are not a qualified daughter in the standard of Chinese tradition.

You may be the smallest child of your mom.

夜晚

你都说是小事了，还跟老人计较什么谁对谁错。
我父母来的时候，那老头，去商场应该往西开车，他非得说应该往东开，并命令我三点调头，调呗，老爷子高兴，没有病，比啥都强。
有一次从大瀑布往回返已经是晚上11：30了，天还下着瓢泼大雨，我那指路的老公还没在车上，我焦头烂额的好不容易找到了高速公路的上口，瞪着大眼睛，努力的在雨中辨别着线路，可爱的老爸开口了：“快点开！你妈做太久了腿疼。”即使我已经开到了100kg/h，我还是爽快地答应着，可是开多快还不是我说了算。
别和老人在小事上争辩，哄着点，开开心心的都好。

独立意志

pinesong34

“嚼食物给小孩吃”是一个100%的陋习！这个习惯要坚决杜绝。
大人的口腔细菌不费吹灰之力就转移到小孩口腔内，从专业角度讲，叫：接种。长大之后，基本上口腔味道会重一些的。
文章作者的丈夫连这个事情都能够容忍一段时间，说明他已经非常迁就了。难道明明白白的对小孩有害的习惯和道理也要因为“孝顺”而放弃？呵呵，我坚决反对。

三和居士

习惯,价值观,文化的冲突.

无论如何,要善待老人,她给了你生命,并把你养育成人,用容忍作回报吧.

haha2

楼主要是有钱就请个专业的baby-sittey.或者你按业余保姆的薪酬付给你妈后再来这里发牢骚。别得了便宜还卖乖

爱心幼儿园

受不了作者这样对妈妈。

妈妈就是那样节俭了一辈子，你想在她来你这里这么一年半年的时间里改变她，真是亏你想得出。竟然还会与妈妈高分贝争吵，真为你感到羞愧。何况妈妈辛辛苦苦帮你带着孩子，劳累着孤独着心还苦着。你们还这样恶言恶语，自己都对自己妈妈没耐心和爱心，就更别指望你的丈夫尊重妈妈了，亏你还是女儿，真为你妈妈痛心。

我妈妈来探亲时也会时不时地捡回点东西，什么电话，台灯，甚至台球杆，小帐篷，而且等我们回来还会喜滋滋的告诉我，捡回了什么。我会告诉她把捡来的东西放在储藏间里，防止不卫生的东西进到家里，然后每次我都会说:"是吗，东西这么重拿回来很累吧。我们家里都有了，我们不需要这些了，以后别捡了，放在那里会有其他人需要的。”于是周末休息，我们还有一项新的活动，就是去mall里的停车场捐献箱送她捡回来的东西，到那里看到好多很新的东西被捐献出来，她也是会说：他们真的不要了。公婆来探亲住在弟弟家，他们捡回来的东西也是好多，等他们走后，小叔子扔出将近十袋。怎么办，谁也做不出训斥老人的事。

而且好多年没有与自己的妈妈在一起生活了，但那样的亲情还是丝毫没有变。而且那样珍惜与她在一起的时光，想在有限的时间里给她补偿以前几年没有在身边爱护她的缺憾。还是那样出门就挽着妈妈的手臂，有时风大天冷还搂着她的肩膀。感到比以前还喜欢亲近她，有时更跟妈妈贴贴脸。孩子有时也会觉得老人不讲卫生，我就告诉孩子，老人们生活环境不同，习惯不同，要尊重他们的习惯。孩子已经长成男子汉了，我教育他要知道拥抱爷爷奶奶和姥姥，因为他们需要这种温情，我们老了同样也需要。

为什么人和人之间不能多些爱心来彼此相待呢？何况是自己的母亲。

Robbit

Well, I could totally understand and partially agreed with the writer.

My mom spent almost 12 years to take care of my dad who got strock years ago which was a year after I landed in Canada. After my dad passed away, we would hope to pay back something to her by inviting her come over and stay with my family for a while happily; however I came accross the some similar experiences as the writer such as:

I tried to give her some petty cash so that she could buy something she likes, however she saves it in her purse, and months later the money is still there...

I tried to make her happy and spent as much time as I could together with my little one (he is 6 already); however she still missed China and felt lonely... I even took her to the communities but she does not like to pay and stop me to pay anything for any activities or fun. She said either it is expensive or it does not worth that much etc. so i do nt know what should I do with her...

I told her that we are planning to Cube where she does not need visa; however she said we'd better pay off the mortgage asap but not spend the money for travelling...

She spent nothing so I tired to take her and my little one to the supermarkets and let her shop and pick whatever she likes; however she still feel pain with dollar comparison from Canadian to RMB, and stops me to buy this and that even they are good for her...

The worst senario was that my little one was born here and just saw my mom once when he is half year old which could not remember her anything. So my little one is very jealous me when I spent time with my mom or even talking with my mom a little bit longer... it is hard and I tried to balance between the two but still mom said I spoiled my boy too much... Now I finally realized what does "When people are at their '40 -50 's of Age'" (人到中年) mean ... - need to take care of and balance well the two different generations

That is why sometimes I puzzled and questioned myself whether I am right or wrong. It's well known "Nobody can be a good judge for the family affairs" I agree with it 100%

However, communication is the key. We need to communicate and exchange each other in a mild and tender manner. It will help. Although sometimes she is not too happy with what I said but gradually she understood me a bit. Nobody is perfect! We too!

Rememer you and your husband have to act differently. You could say something straiht forward to mom but not your hiim, because that is your mom not his. It makes different!

My mom sometimes sees something (microwave or TV) outside, she likes to bring in too but she asks first. One time, my husband knew it, he said to my mom: do not worry, if you like to get something I will drive you around and get whatsoever you like ... honestly most of the time my husband does a better job than me for me and my mom are too close to control our mood...

Anyway, hope all moms are happy with their daughters and tries to understand what their daughters' mean in some senarios; but in the meantime, daughters need to understand their moms too.

Good luck to you all!

edwin_yan

最初由[pinesong34]发布
“嚼食物给小孩吃”是一个100%的陋习！

“嚼食物给小孩吃”是一个100%的陋习！这个习惯要坚决杜绝。
大人的口腔细菌不费吹灰之力就转移到小孩口腔内，从专业角度讲，叫：接种。长大之后，基本上口腔味道会重一些的。
文章作者的丈夫连这个事情都能够容忍一段时间，说明他已经非常迁就了。难道明明白白的对小孩有害的习惯和道理也要因为“孝顺”而放弃？呵呵，我坚决反对。


既然她老公受不了就自己多赚钱请专业的人来带。既然求老人来带就闭嘴

WTTO

最初由[edwin_yan]发布
回复：“嚼食物给小孩吃”是一个100%的陋习！




既然她老公受不了就自己多赚钱请专业的人来带。既然求老人来带就闭嘴

是啊，就这么简单。