YOU KNOW YOU'RE READY TO GRADUATE FROM B-SCHOOL WHEN....
by Brian Lechner
You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization"
You refer to dating as test marketing.
You can spell "paradigm."
You actually know what a paradigm is.
You understand your airline's fare structure.
You write executive summaries on your love letters.
You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten page paper with six other people you don't know.
You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities."
You know every single piece of clip art in PowerPoint.
You calculate your own personal cost of capital.
You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as "highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt."
You ask your bank manager if she has heard of "Modigliani-Miller," and then you ask her if she has a pizza so you can show her.
You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering", "downsizing", "right-sizing", and "firing people's asses."
You actually believe your previous explanation.
You enjoy using an HP-12C.
You refer to your previous life as "my sunk cost"
Your three meals a day are a morning consumption function, a noontime consumption function, and an evening consumption function.
Your favorite stories begin "Bob Jones, VP of marketing, sat at his desk and stared out his window..."
You believe CAPM is just as important as the Theory of Relativity.
You believe CAPM.
You start to feel sorry for Dilbert's boss.
Your favorite artist is the one who does the dot drawings for the Wall Street Journal.
None of your favorite publications have cartoons.
At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand equity.
You've decided the only way to afford a house is to call your fellow alumni and offer to name a room after them, if they'll help with the down payment.
You refer to your job rejections as the idiosyncratic risk you face.
You use the term "value-added" without falling down laughing.
You give constructive feedback to your dog.
"We're out of beer" is starting to wear thin as an excuse to get out of a meeting.
You really, really don't need another pair of Tevas.
The pre-approved credit cards have stopped filling up your mailbox.
Your golf/ultimate/table tennis/backgammon game can't get any better.
Your e-mail inbox just broke through the psychological 5,000 ceiling.
You think about things in terms of "psychological ceilings."
You tire of "nap" or "Oprah" being the only two branches on your decision tree.
It's becoming increasingly difficult to keep a straight face when you introduce yourself as a "graduate student" at parties.
Your attendance record at consumption functions is better than your attendance records at classes.
You greet Dean Aigner with a hearty "Yo, Dennnnnn!"
You think you deserve an "A" in a class even though you didn't attend and had a first year write your term project.
You refer to drinking in public as a networking opportunity.
The first section of the Wall Street Journal you read is C.
You actually get the jokes in the Economist.
You come up with a five page internal transfer pricing mechanism with your roommates for the food and drink in your fridge.
You brainstorm your shopping list.
You edit and redistribute this list via e-mail to other people who you 'think' will understand these jokes!  |
狗仔卡
发表于 2002-12-12 09:59:05
收藏
顶
踩
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
楼主