两个笑话（原）

老匠

清晨。儿子醒来还是懒洋洋的躺在那里，妈妈看到后很不耐烦地说“儿子呀，拜托请快点起来洗牙刷脸了。”儿子起来了，满脸狐疑，“洗牙可以找牙医，可是怎么刷脸呢？”

到饭馆酒足饭饱，很礼貌地对服务生说，“请给我拿一张嘴”。服务生听了以为自己听错了，问“对不起，先生请问你要什么？”不耐烦的食客，有点怒了“叫你给我拿一张嘴，我要擦擦我的餐巾纸”。说完，他自己也笑了。

青草地.

回复 1# 老匠
老匠，我沒笑。再整兩個好笑的來.:mad:

老匠

回复  老匠
老匠，我沒笑。再整兩個好笑的來.
青草地. 发表于 2014-7-14 16:00

你的笑点太高，想想看。

青草地.

你的笑点太高，想想看。
老匠 发表于 2014-7-14 16:01

不想。你得再整兩個來。

白色百合

看在原创的份上，鼓励一下。第一个错误我们都很容易犯，第二个不太可能，纯属瞎编。

青草地.

Happiness is a Journey

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.

After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.

The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D. Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid.

Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness.

Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time...and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Work like you don't need money,

Love like you've never been hurt,

And dance like no one's watching.

God has given each of us a "gift" that we are to use to glorify His name! Do you know yours???

-- Author Unknown

白色百合

回复 6# 青草地. A very good article, which sounds familiar
喜欢这几句：

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Work like you don't need money,

Love like you've never been hurt,

And dance like no one's watching.

老匠

看在原创的份上，鼓励一下。第一个错误我们都很容易犯，第二个不太可能，纯属瞎编。
白色百合 发表于 2014-7-14 16:11

还真的没有瞎编，昨天亲耳听到的，在我的邻桌。

老匠

不想。你得再整兩個來。
青草地. 发表于 2014-7-14 16:06

是我想，看看有没有更好玩的，那就不是亲身经历的了，不是让你想。

老匠

不想。你得再整兩個來。
青草地. 发表于 2014-7-14 16:06

1、当不成英雄也不想当狗熊
　　晚上，小贾在回家的路上看到有人打劫，一个女孩拼命抵抗。
　　他有心上去英雄救美，又怕自己小胳膊小腿不够硬。可是也不能不管呀。
　　于是打了110后.大喊一声：快跑，动物园狗熊跑出来了。女孩得救后问他，
　　怎么就想到狗熊了？小贾不好意思的说：因为我没当上英雄，但也不想当狗熊。

2、散伙不成
　　一男子对女友说：“我想分手，我觉得烦了，已经没有感觉了。”
　　女友回答：“中国人民对国足早就烦了，早就没感觉了，但为什么国足还没解散？13亿人烦了都没有解散一个11人的队伍，现在你一个人说烦了，难道要解散两个人的队伍吗？”

青草地.

回复  青草地. A very good article, which sounds familiar
喜欢这几句：

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Work like you don't need money,

Love like you've never been hurt,

And dance like no one's watching.
白色百合 发表于 2014-7-14 16:51

贊同！(f)

白色百合

1、当不成英雄也不想当狗熊
　　晚上，小贾在回家的路上看到有人打劫，一个女孩拼命抵抗。
　　他有心上去英雄救美，又怕自己小胳膊小腿不够硬。可是也不能不管呀。
　　于是打了110后.大喊一声：快跑，动物园狗熊跑出来了。女孩得救后问他，
　　怎么就想到狗熊了？小贾不好意思的说：因为我没当上英雄，但也不想当狗熊。

2、散伙不成
　　一男子对女友说：“我想分手，我觉得烦了，已经没有感觉了。”
　　女友回答：“中国人民对国足早就烦了，早就没感觉了，但为什么国足还没解散？13亿人烦了都没有解散一个11人的队伍，现在你一个人说烦了，难道要解散两个人的队伍吗？”
老匠 发表于 2014-7-14 17:04

还是太冷，不好笑。

老匠

还是太冷，不好笑。
白色百合 发表于 2014-7-14 17:16

我投降了，整不过你们小字辈，原创的不行，抄来的还不行，看来你们要笑的和我要笑的还真有不小的差距呢，以后再不敢卖弄了。

白色百合

《笑傲江湖》最后决赛，这个比较好笑，可以看看：

老匠

《笑傲江湖》最后决赛，这个比较好笑，可以看看：
白色百合 发表于 2014-7-14 17:21

这个还真的比较好笑，我看过。